Thursday, February 27, 2014

the aging game

i think i've finally reached that age where you are now witness to your family's deterioration, specifically one person.
Papa is in the middle, from 2011
over the last year or so my dear grandpa (Papa) has begun that uncontrollable spiral from decent health to icky bad health.  now that i'm (mostly) an adult, i have to witness this messy transition.

let's be clear though.  my dear Papa has been smoking and drinking like a young fool for 60+ years of his life.  knowing this, we are not overly surprised that it has caught up to him and reared its ugly head but Papa seem incredibly surprised.  i think he's always had that mentality that smoking and excessive drinking is bad for other people but not for him.  you know, like he's immune or something.

back to the issue at hand, he's sick.  very sick.  they are suspecting lung cancer or a lung mass of some kind.  being that my Papa has such a bad life style, he is not a candidate for any type of treatment.  they won't even biopsy this mass because he's so fragile.  all of this is beginning to take its tole, he is so angry and bitter.  not that Papa was ever a jolly type but this kind of rage is new and it's scary.

we went over to his house last night to bring him a birthday pie (his birthday is februrary 29th) and he was so rude and just mean to my boyfriend for no reason.  i couldn't believe the things he said to Vinny.  this reminds me that i need to make Vinny a special treat because he is a saint.

so what i'm trying to say is, it's hard to see how an illness or advancing age can change someone.  this isn't how i want to remember my Papa.

send a positive thought his way today, i think he needs it.  and happy birthday Papa even though you don't technically have a birthday this year.  darn leap years.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

breakfast with champions

the boyfriend and i went out for breakfast a few days ago.  we like to go to this little restaurant that only takes cash and has many hideous china plates hanging on the walls.  you can sit wherever you want (hello sunroom!) and no matter what you order, it will have the most delicious greasy taste.  toast? greasy.  hash browns? greasy.  diet coke? greasy.  of course, that's what makes it soooo gooooooooood.

the boyfriend loves it when i heckle him to death with my camera. can't you tell?

also, meow.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

be my valentine's day

how do i manage to always be a week behind on these things?  i think i'm all up-to-date and then boom! it's a week later and i still haven't posted a freaking thing.  blawwwging is hard.

anywhoooo, the boyfriend and i had a lovely valentine's day.  we had dinner at Sprecher's in lake geneva. they have amazing, germany type foods and yummy brandy old-fashions.  afterward we took a freezing walk around this little park where they host an annual snow sculpture competition.  there are about a dozen sculptures on display and they are all awesome.  i want to touch them so bad, how do they make the snow stay like that?  

we were so surprised to see that vinny's face was used as the model for this one!  very accurate and look at that beard!

i hope your v-day was full of love!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

winter in wisconsin

winter in wisconsin, and especially this year, always brings us more snow/cold than i care to acknowledge.  

i've heard that there is a giant snow storm covering 1/3 of the US.  being a wisonsinite, i have mastered the "i'm trapped in my house because it sucks outside" situation.  here are some very helpful tips for when mother nature decides to be a big 'ol bitch…again.

stay warm folks!  invest in some warm liquids: tea, coffee, spiked hot chocolate (hello, jack daniels).  keep your toes warm with some slippers and really good snow boots because nothing will ruin your day more than freezing toes.  stay inside unless you're one of those adventurous types.  but seriously, stay inside.

delicious snacks are necessary, bake something warm and yummy.  pull out that giant pile of books that you've been meaning to read because you suddenly have loads of time.  this also applies to netflix/hulu.  finally, don't forget the booze.  i mean really, you're trapped in your house so why not indulge in a few beverages.  

good luck to everyone, only 10 years until spring.

did i mention that booze helps.  it really does. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

to my man friend, vinny

on this day which is awkwardly smack in between our anniversary and valentine's day, i would like to write some mushy lovey dovey words about you.  is that ok?  ok, good.

this is an old photo, he has a fabulous beard now.
the man friend and i have been blissfully in love for six years and a few weeks.  our anniversary was a few weeks ago at the very tail end of janurary and now we are fast approaching valentine's day.  in fact, we have a hot date tonight!

vinny, my dear man friend, you are sweet and kind.  you make me laugh like a crazy person and cry with happiness.  like last night when you said very nice things about me.  i hid it well but you  made my eyes leak happy tears.  and that is EXACTLY what i love about you!  you make me laugh all day while you poke fun at the olympic's commentators and then you make me feel like the luckiest girl with your sweet words.

so thank you for being you.  thank you for being with a girl like me.  let's keep this thing going.

Lilly the wonder dawg

my dear sweet lilly has left this world to frolic amongst the flowers of doggy heaven.  

lilly lived a pampered life as a grand champion show dog with the attitude to match.  she had a fabulous formal show name that escapes me now, something little lil of birch point.  when she wasn't winning the hearts of heartless show judges, she was cuddling with little seven year old karleigh at home.  she was my first puppy all those years ago.  who would have thought she'd live to the ripe age of 94!

the highlight of my life (back then at seven years old) was when lilly had a batch of eight little teensy tiny puppies.  from that batch ,born on prom night, we gained angus.  he was also wonder-dawg but we'll save that for another day.  

so bon voyage to ms. lilly.  you were wonderful and a little sassy.  you had a very strong personality and didn't take shit from anyone.  we miss you already.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

good things

it's tuesday night, the boyfriend is making us venison steaks (like a true wisconsinite) and i have a delicious beer in my hand.  life can be pretty good when you really just think about it.

this time last year i was in the midst of some serious anxiety/depression/deep, dark places.  and now look!  i have a real job with a real (big) paycheck, i have a beer in my hand and i have the support that i need to keep chugging along.

the general vibe in my mind is…content.  things could be better in my life but things could be so much worse.  i'm thankful of the strides that i've made in the last year toward better mental health and becoming more aware of my feelings.  i used to be very superficial, i had no feelings.  i didn't care about anything.  now, i take the time each moment to reflect on the last and decide how i feel/felt/will feel.

but oi, those feelings are complicated.  but, they are so complicated in a good way.  i want to feel all the feelings and not just be a neutral blob in the world.  what's the fun in that?  answer: no fun.

aaaaaaand meow.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

we went to a party

a few weekends ago the boyfriend and i went to our first engagement party.  yes, the first one ever. these types of events always bring questions to my simple mind: what should we wear? do you have to bring a gift or maybe just a card?  is there going to be food?  will there be booze? should i bring my flask?  do i have to be on-time or can i be fashionably late?

once the boyfriend and i arrived it was very warm and fuzzy, lots of hugging.  there was food and drinks, thank goodness.  AND CAKE!  i think i'm going to like engagement parties.  

it twas my dear friend emily who is now betrothed to a fella from racine.  emily was my very first roommate all those years ago when i began college (hello old age!).  i'm so freaking happy for her and her new beau.  he seems like a swell guy.  i'm so pumped for their wedding next year (it's going to be open bar!).  

you know how you and your friends always bet on how long a marriage is going to last?  do you guys do that or is my group of friends just heartless?  anyway, i give them a solid 800 years with at least 20 kids.  they're going to be just fine.

can't have a blog post without a cat pic.