Thursday, February 27, 2014

the aging game

i think i've finally reached that age where you are now witness to your family's deterioration, specifically one person.
Papa is in the middle, from 2011
over the last year or so my dear grandpa (Papa) has begun that uncontrollable spiral from decent health to icky bad health.  now that i'm (mostly) an adult, i have to witness this messy transition.

let's be clear though.  my dear Papa has been smoking and drinking like a young fool for 60+ years of his life.  knowing this, we are not overly surprised that it has caught up to him and reared its ugly head but Papa seem incredibly surprised.  i think he's always had that mentality that smoking and excessive drinking is bad for other people but not for him.  you know, like he's immune or something.

back to the issue at hand, he's sick.  very sick.  they are suspecting lung cancer or a lung mass of some kind.  being that my Papa has such a bad life style, he is not a candidate for any type of treatment.  they won't even biopsy this mass because he's so fragile.  all of this is beginning to take its tole, he is so angry and bitter.  not that Papa was ever a jolly type but this kind of rage is new and it's scary.

we went over to his house last night to bring him a birthday pie (his birthday is februrary 29th) and he was so rude and just mean to my boyfriend for no reason.  i couldn't believe the things he said to Vinny.  this reminds me that i need to make Vinny a special treat because he is a saint.

so what i'm trying to say is, it's hard to see how an illness or advancing age can change someone.  this isn't how i want to remember my Papa.

send a positive thought his way today, i think he needs it.  and happy birthday Papa even though you don't technically have a birthday this year.  darn leap years.

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